I Asked My Friends Not to Be My Cheerleaders
A few weeks ago, I invited a group of friends to my house to try something I had never done before.
I was nervous, which was funny to me. These are women I travel with every year. We have seen one another at our best and at our worst. There are few people I trust more.
But this was the first time I had really said the Chief of Mom Life ideas out loud in this way. Jessica and I had spent months writing, researching, developing the Life Leadership System, and thinking about what it could look like to help Moms put these ideas into practice. Now I was going to gather people around my table and ask them to experience it.
So I started with a request.
I am not asking you to be my cheerleader tonight. I am asking you to give me honest feedback.
I wanted to know what worked, what did not, what was confusing, and whether what we had been building actually felt useful once Moms were sitting around a table together.
Then we started.
When the Idea Became an Experience
We began with one of the central beliefs behind Chief of Mom Life: Motherhood Is Leadership.
We talked about the work Moms are already leading every day: anticipating, coordinating, deciding, planning, remembering, and helping families move forward. We considered what changes when we stop seeing all of that simply as the work of motherhood and begin approaching it as leadership.
From there, we moved into Systems, one of the five foundations of the Life Leadership System. Systems are not about trying to organize every part of our lives. They are about noticing the things that keep requiring our attention and asking whether they really need to. When we can create a simple structure around something recurring, it gives us a little more capacity for the things that actually need us.
I shared some of the Systems I use in my own life. Some are substantial. Others are embarrassingly ordinary. I have Systems for our family schedule, meals, medications, pet care, keeping bathrooms stocked, and even making sure I can find a pair of reading glasses when I need them.
And then something happened that I had hoped would happen but could not really know until we tried it.
The conversation took off.
My friends started sharing their own Systems. One person's idea reminded someone else of something she was doing. Another Mom had solved a problem someone else was still managing every day. We started comparing what worked, what did not, and why.
It worked.
Not perfectly. It was still a preview, and I had asked them there precisely because I knew we had things to learn. But the idea started to gel in a way that felt different from anything we had written on a page.
There was a growing clarity around what we are trying to build with Chief of Mom Life.
Working Through It Together
The most interesting part came when we stopped talking about Systems generally and each Mom identified one specific point of friction in her own life—something she was repeatedly remembering, deciding, reminding, managing, or fixing.
Then we worked on it together.
This is the part of the experience I find especially powerful. You bring a real point of friction from your life into a room with other Moms. You have enough space to step back from the immediate problem, think differently about it, hear how other women have approached similar challenges, and begin building something that might make it easier.
Nobody is handing you the "right" system.
That matters to us. One of our beliefs at Chief of Mom Life is that a system should fit the leader, not force the leader to fit the system. We share what works in our own lives to create possibilities, not prescriptions.
The other Moms in the room become part of that process. Their experiences give you ideas you might not have considered. Their questions help you think differently. And often, hearing someone else's friction makes you realize you have already solved something that could help her.
That exchange became one of my favorite parts of the evening.
The Feedback Changed the Workshop
At the end of the night, I reminded everyone of what I had asked at the beginning. I did not need encouragement. I needed their perspective.
So we talked candidly about the experience. What landed? What was unclear? What felt different about doing this work together? What would a Mom need to understand before deciding to spend her time and money on an experience like this?
We also talked about the name.
At the time, we were calling the experience Mom Life Reset.
The feedback helped us see that "Reset" promised something broader and less specific than what we had actually created. This was not about resetting your entire life in an evening.
It was more concrete than that.
Moms were coming together to recognize everyday friction, exchange ideas, and build practical Systems that could make daily life a little easier.
That conversation led us to the name we are now testing:
Mom Life Workshop: Everyday Systems
Simple Systems that make everyday life easier.
The name is more specific because the experience is more specific.
What I Learned Around My Own Table
I went into the evening wanting feedback on a workshop.
I came out of it understanding something more clearly about Chief of Mom Life itself.
The value was not simply teaching Moms about Systems. It was creating a space where Moms could recognize themselves as leaders, think differently about something in their own lives, and do that alongside other women who understood the context without needing it explained.
That is the community part of this work.
It is not a room full of people telling one another what they should do. It is a room full of Moms bringing their own experiences, questions, and ideas to the table and making one another's thinking better.
I have never been to anything quite like the experience we are trying to create with Mom Life Workshops.
And as a Mom, I cannot wait to do more of it.
Come build with us
Our next Mom Life Workshop: Everyday Systems takes place in Worthington, Ohio on September 13 and October 8, followed by Seattle, Washington on September 19.
The workshop is $99. You will explore real-life Systems that may spark new thinking, consider where a little more structure could make everyday life easier, and work alongside other Moms to begin building something that works for you.
You do not need to arrive with an answer. You do not need to be "good at systems." And you certainly do not need to have Mom Life figured out.
Just bring yourself and an open mind. We will start there.
Learn more about Mom Life Workshops →